Into Each Life, by Jim Meyer

Wayne Barlobet was a man of modest means, and even more modest stature. Most people referred to him as a midget, although he preferred the more politically correct term of "lengthfully disinclined." For Wayne, each day was a neck-straining exercise as he went about his business, as nearly everybody towered over him. It was always a delight when Wayne met someone more like himself, and this did happen from time to time.

Wayne made it a habit to get the names of the other lengthfully disinclined people he encountered, if only to have someone else to say "hello!" to when he travelled to a different town. And as strange as it may seem, a disproportionate number of the lengthfully disinclined people he met had the same first name as him: Wayne. He went for many years merely noting this anomoly, but decided one day to do something about it.

It took many phone calls, but Wayne contacted every other lengthfully disinclined "Wayne" on his list, and they all agreed that it would be great fun to charter an airplane and head for a week of sun and fun in Hawaii. And so was born the great Wayne Excursion. They all agreed to meet in a few major cities, and their chartered DC-10 would, after a few stops, be winging its way over the Pacific. Each Wayne, just to make things easier for the others, had his own name tag, reading "Hi! I'm Wayne...." with their last names entered by hand.

Alas, it was one of the DC-10s that had somehow been missed when the problem with the cargo door had been discovered. Wayne Barlobet was unfortunate enough to be looking for a lost piece of luggage when the cargo door suddenly blew off, taking Wayne with it. The airplane was cruising at 30,000 feet, which gave Wayne plenty of time to contemplate the Iowa countryside as he plummeted to earth.

Alice and Simon were sitting out by their pool, taking some time out from their farm chores to enjoy the afternoon sun.

"Well, will you look at that!" said Simon, pointing to the sky.

"Land sakes!" cried Alice, "It looks like a little man falling out of the clouds!"

"Yep," agreed Simon, "and he's not getting much bigger!"

Just then, Wayne's name tag peeled off. Wayne landed with an enormous "SPLOOSH!" in the pool, and his name tag fluttered into Alice's lap.

"Dear," said Alice, examining the name tag, "I think it's true."

"What?" asked Simon.

Alice looked at her husband, looked at the name tag, looked back at her husband, and said:

"Into each life a little Wayne must fall!"

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