Ask Dr. Cyberlove!

Tired? Listless? Feeling Blue?

We here at Ask Dr.Cyberlove are dedicated to finding an answer to every problem, whether it's the right answer to the wrong problem or the wrong answer to the right problem, or even an incoherent answer to an unrelated problem. No question is too hard, and no answer is too easy; no problem is too small, and no fee is too large. Here are some of the questions we've been asked (and answered) recently:

Dr. CyberLove, my girlfriend just sent me e-mail telling me that she never wants to see me again. Do I have to return all the GIFs she gave me?

No. But you should return any java she may have shared with you.

Dear Doctor CyberLove, I have been in Adult chatrooms in Yahoo and people have asked me "do you wanna have cybersex." I don't know what to do during CyberSex. Can you give me some advice, 'cause I'm interested in it.

A Dr. Cyberlove thinks the answer is in the very meaning of the word. The root of Cyber is the Greek word Kybern, which means "to steer." A Kybernet is a helmsman, or one who steers. The meaning of sex, of course, is universally known. So CyberSex is, literally, the act of having sex with a steering wheel. Somehow, unless the steering wheel is of unusual design, this does not seem like much fun. If you're wondering about my name, it is best translated as "The Helmsman of Love."

Dear Doctor Cyberlove -- I have been involved with someone online for just over two months. From the moment we started talking we seemed to have been so connected, so in tune with one another. He lives about 13 hours away from me, and is in school to be a doctor, therefore having about 7 years of schooling left. He says that it is not a good idea that we meet in person, as it will only make things much more difficult for each other. He tells me he loves me with all his heart, we talk every day for hours, and have so much fun together. He says that it wouldn't be fair to expect me to wait until he is out of school for us to be together, although he would love that, but my welfare is more important than his wants and needs. How do I know if it's real or fantasy? A boy that won't meet me, but I love him with all my heart and soul.

Cathy? Is that you? Uh-oh... I am so busted!

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